Radioactive
by Caitlynnn
Summary: Jared and Wanda have a talk about past feelings and regrets they made. This is not a love story, its a story about love and all the different aspects of it. ONESHOT. Wanda/Jared friendship.


**So, I began to read The Host. I finished it within a few days. Normally I blow through books pretty fast but I get so busy after holidays, and well, that book was something that I literally stayed up all night thinking about. I don't care what anyone says, Stephenie Meyer is one motherfucking good storyteller and I simply cannot wait for the sequel of The Host, which comes out soon. That book made me cry in the car when I was finishing it. I was in absolute tears and my dad didn't know why. The book... is beautiful. **

**It might be terrible for me to say this... but I really loved Wanda and Jared. I adored the thought of Jared being with Wanda. I don't know why. I mean, Jared and Mel are my OTP throughout the entire book, that much is true, but I think, the reason why I love Wanda and Jared together, and the whole dynamic between them is simply because in the end of the book, (the book I got, they had an exclusive chapter of when Mel woke up and when they were trying to find a body for Wanda) and Jared said he loved Wanda... and that's where I cried because it just made sense to me – I complained to my friend Roxanne that I desperately needed Jared to love Wanda. And not love Wanda because she was in Mel's body. No, love Wanda for Wanda. Herself. The host. The parasite whatever you want to call Wanda. But to me? Wanda is a human, and I believe that she has a soul. Because Wanda and Jared (plus Jeb and Jamie) were my favourite characters. I fell in love with Jared because he was such an asshole to everyone and he had good reason to be, and I fell in love with Wanda because she is simply ... beautiful. My heart broke for her because I could relate to her. That sounds strange, but oh well. So this story is a friendship/somber talk between Jared and Wanda. Also, the quote is from Jared and he said it in the exclusive bonus chapter.**

**I don't own The Host. (No pun intended. Okay maybe a little.)**

"_I love her, too," he said. "I wouldn't let anything happen while you were out. No matter what crazy plan she'd set in motion." - Jared Howe._

It wasn't uncommon for Jared to be out by himself. The past few months have been like this. The first few weeks he never left Melanie's side. Neither did Jamie. Neither did Wanda. And with Wanda came Ian as well. Jared could understand that. Ian loved Wanda and he understood that they were just as apart of each other as Jared and Mel were apart of each other.

But tonight, he sits out at the exit of the cave. He merely just glances for a while until he finally makes himself comfortable. Mel and Jamie, and probably the rest of the folks in the cave were in the kitchen eating or cleaning up. Jared had been planning a raid, but tonight he was just going to think for a bit.

For a while he just sat out here and just looked at the stars for a moment. The cool air had hit him and he smiled a bit, pleased that it had come at the time it did. Sometimes it got too hot or crowded in that cave and he needed his alone time. Though he'd never tell that to Mel or Jamie. Despite it all, Jamie was his best friend and he was protective over that kid. Not as much as Wanda or Mel, but he did love him to a point where he would die for him. To be honest, Jared would die for anyone he loved.

He had heard a plopping sound next to him.

"Hey," The familiar voice said and he looked over at Wanda. He barely smiled at her; instead he looked up at the sky and the stars.

"They're beautiful." Wanda commented, reaching her hand out, trying to touch one and then said, "You couldn't see this on the other planets." She said with a sigh and Jared looked at her, "Really?" He questioned.

"No. It was never this... extravagant. The Earth is beautiful." She whispered.

There were things that were unresolved here between Jared and Wanda. A lot of things that none of them said.

"Mel said she was tired. Hence why she's not out here." She said stretching her feet out and then tapped Jared lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm starting to get muscle, finally," she said and Jared looked and then put his hand around her leg and then said, "Flex," he said with a mischievous grin.

"Nice." He said as he took his hand off, looking behind them.

"Where's O'shea?" He asked and Wanda shrugged. "Doing something with Jamie probably. I don't know." She said.

"You guys are attached to the hip." Jared says and Wanda smiles, and she nods looking down. She loved Ian – that was her anchor. The thing that made her want to stay in this world. She loved him more than she loved any human being... almost.

She didn't say anything though.

"I told him I needed to get some fresh air. He wanted to come with, but I just needed to get away." Wanda said and then shrugged. "Looks like we had the same idea." She said looking up at the stars.

She bit the bottom of her lip now and they didn't say anything for a while.

Being with Jared like this was still hard for her. The way she felt for him would never ever change. When you love someone like she loved Jared, she didn't know if you could ever change that. She didn't want to change that because she loved Jared in a way that Mel couldn't. And that wasn't really a bad thing. Because Wanda knew him, too. She knew what he liked to eat the first things in the morning. She knew how he'd react to certain things. She knew that he didn't snore. She knew all the small and big things about him. And that was all because she was Mel's host. She knew him like Mel knew him, but there were also some things that she picked up from Jared, as well. She saw his vulnerable side as well.

It was quite for a few moments.

"Mel... Mel told me what you told her when I was in the tank. Before I was given... a body." She started out, looking at her hands.

Jared had stiffened a bit and Wanda felt like an idiot. But he kept his cool. There were a million things going on in his mind. On one hand, he wasn't sure if he meant what he said, and then on the second hand he meant every single fucking word. He did love Wanda. And that may not be a big deal, but when in reality it was a big deal. Because in the very beginning he hated her very existence. In fact he couldn't stand her, he wanted her dead. That was Melanie's body. Not hers. She was just a parasite. She would be nothing more than that.

But then, he learned that Mel was still there, and then after they had their talk in the car and whatever else, he knew that, he cared for her. He really did care for her. And he didn't understand why. Maybe he was forced to care for her because Ian had already loved her and he felt the need to care for her. But then it was too late he did care for.

This is not a love story. It's a story about love.

There are different aspects to love. Different kinds of ways to love someone, and there are different levels of love and how it can destroy and mend someone. The way he felt for Melanie was driven on passion. The way that Ian felt for Wanda was driven on a deeper level of understanding.

He felt that tension in the air and he knew he needed to say something. But it was so hard. No, he didn't have feelings for her. No, he didn't like her romantically. He loved her. Sometimes he would catch himself looking at her, and he didn't realize that he was looking at her until she turned to look back at him. Their love for each other was unconditional. Because the time that Mel was inside of Wanda, just in her head. Everyone got to know Wanda as... Wanda. The host. But she was more than a host. She wasn't just an alien. It took Jared a long time to realize that, but he knew that she was more than that.

So as he looks at her he nods but then he looks away.

"You know, I meant what I said." He said and then looked out into the fields and looked up at the vast sky and how you could get so easily lost in it.

"I wasn't lying." He finally said. He remembers their conversation, saying how he was a good liar, and how even he could lie to himself.

"I suppose that may sound weird, coming from me, but its true. I do love you. Though of course it's not the same as my love for Mel. Does that make sense?" he doesn't look at her.

It does make sense. He got to know the host and he got to know Wanda. He knew that Wanda couldn't really hurt anyone whereas Mel could hurt whomever and she would only feel guilty after. But Wanda WAS her own person. She was... well, Wanda.

"I used to think of you as a body snatcher. But... not anymore. When... when we were in the jeep, going on our own raid for Jamie's medicine, and when I slept next to you, I think I cared for you then. And not just that I felt obligated to care for you like Mel does, no, in my own way." He says coughing a bit.

"The thing about being human is, no matter what you do everything has consequences." He whispers.

Wanda didn't know what to say.

"I love Ian."

"I love Melanie."

They smiled at each other, knowing that this was comfortable. This was fine. They could be like this.

"I don't like this feeling." Wanda says.

"I'm happy... but I'm sad." She said as she looked at Jared. He had scooted a bit closer now and then he slowly took her hand.

"There were times where I would really think it was just you there and not Melanie." He said and then added, "Not that my feeling for her changed, but just... that you... were you." He can't explain it any other way.

"The thing is, I think you do have a soul. You're not just a host. There is something good inside of you. You may just be something inhabiting a body, but what makes you have a soul is your heart. And right now your heart is beating like a hammer." He says and he touches her chest where her heart is and he's right. It is beating like a hammer.

"I don't like it." She whispers.

"Like I said, its not what you are, its what you do that makes you have a soul. You're innocent." He says, "Pure. You are self sacrificing. More so than Melanie is. I mean she's strong, she could handle things on her own, but she'll always need you." He says looking at Wanda now.

"You probably mean more to her than I do. And that's... amazing. You share a deep connection to her."

That was true, too. Wanda and Melanie were sisters. Their love for each other was so much it was ridiculous.

"Jamie fucking loves you as much as he loves Melanie." He says, and then shakes his head. "The kid would do anything for you." He says with a smirk.

They're still holding hands.

"I'm sorry for not giving you the credit that you deserve." He finally says.

"I do trust you. I trust you as much as I trust Melanie." He says, almost reading her mind.

"You know me better than anyone." That's true, too.

"I love you." Wanda said, "Its... its a different love, isn't it?" she says and Jared nods.

"It hurts though." She says and he laughs lightly.

"I think that's what its supposed to do." He says whispering.

"But I would never be with you." Wanda says. "Because the love I feel for you is something that quickly comes and then quickly leaves, but you still feel the fragments of it."

Jared understood it. He got it. He knew what that felt like. He was so fucking angry in the beginning and near the end of Wanda's life before she was going to be changed he felt something shift inside of him. It was hard not to love Wanda because she cared so much for people when people were cruel to her.

"The world is a strange place." He said as he got up and then offered his hand for her to get up. Their conversation was over. It was meant to be this way: unplanned, quick, to the point. Just so they could move on. That's okay though. Because they knew that they would be internally in each other's lives. They were friends; really close friends now because that's just how it was for them now. They knew too much about each other.

Wanda had gotten up and she thought of Ian and her heart beat a little fast, and then Jared saw Melanie at the mouth of the cave waiting. Wanda waved her hand towards her and they exchanged a look. Melanie knew and she smiled softly at Wanda, understanding it. He let go off her hand now and he wrapped his arm around he when they met Mel at the mouth of the cave. Jared wrapped his other arm around Mel and they walked inside back to their respective rooms.

"The strangest," she finally said as she walked off to go to her room...

**I know it's not that great, but after reading the book I needed some type of closure, haha.**

**Review?**


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